Madness

Up side down

The world I live,my own little world.
I can’t  be the right way up,
gravity has lost its touch and
that taught me a painful lesson,
I should have never said “I  love you “.

“True love is not real  if it’s not returned”
Just as ; if we do not love then we have no reason to exist.
So why do I always fail.
I lied to survive yet I’m still dying…just slowly now
My blood moves in a hazy glow.
A bit too fast sometimes, I skip a few beats now and then.
I’m in fire in a wet cold damp dream.

“Lose it damn it,lose it”
My head screams but I know if I lose the insanity,
Then I’ll lose myself.
But now I’ve got myself in trouble.
Tired of being careful all the time.
I’m sick of all the games I have to play
So I can pretend that I’m happy,that I am okay.

I try to let loose my fears as the heavens set fire
Then into the heat,I’m lost once again.
All I breath in is my pain and sadness  .
Its all there under my skin.
Nothing real can be threatened,I told myself.        The idea of true love will bring back my salvation.     

But where is the love that I need ,the kind that makes you crazy and selfish.
The kind that makes you feel like you’re bigger than the world.
Where is the love that  my life depends on? 

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Spell on you…

Listen…

Just listen to the sound of my voice.
Follow it, as if it were the only sound you understood…

Shutting down the whole world just to listen.

As if, we were the only living,breathing organisms on the planet.

As if we were making a scene for all the universe to see,to prove that it can be that which hasn’t been yet.

Listen to my voice going through your head .

Messing with your mind causing mayhem,disaster ,confusion , chaos.

Hear it as it sends chills down your spine through to every nerve in your body.

Down and mysterious,turning your insides with curiosity.

Exciting your manhood effortlessly .

Watch your knees shake and hear your heart beating so loud and fast.

Now you don’t want me to stop , you want more.

And I watch you fail to grasp reality.

Vertigo, dear!

My voice gives you vertigo.

And everytime you can’t figure what’s quite real and what isn’t.

Only on your deathbed will reality pay a visit like a ghost from your past.

But what you do know and feel are  the changes happening to your  body.

All you now know is you feel good.

And you just want more of me,

like an addict needs its drug.

No one has to know

I wander the hallways at night, 

Terrified cause now I’ve fallen in love.  


                                                                              

But where the hell are you?
I cry to the moon as I  go beyond
trying to understand how
you exist in two worlds at once.
How you can say you want me and act like you do not know me?     
                                                 
Yet my love for you grows even stronger.          
My sadness slowly becomes my remedy.                                                                   
But my faith gives me hope til you say,              
No one has to know“.                                          


That was a warning & I should have run.

But I stayed in the name of love.
How foolish!
My foolish little heart,that was my weakness.                                                            
Love was my forbidden fruit & you used it against me.
Like a magician, you tricked me.                                           You played me and relentlessly played my heart.
Now I’m angry & confused.


So why are my lips on your lips?    

                   
Why is my naked body familiar with yours, And your hands assaultingly caressing every inch of me as if you know my body like the back of your hand.                                                                     
We have no vows so why am I in bed with you?

You pull me back just to use me.                                       You make my doubt disappear again.                         Pulling it out  inbetween my legs.                       Pleasuring my anger to satisfaction.                       Hungry with desire,you bath me with your tongue.     Sweat runs down my breasts, every nerve in my body tingles.                                                                                        Deep cuts on your back, I can even smell myself on you.

But no one has to know                                                           that we even know each other.
So why the hell do I always end up                                 having a morning after pill in your shirt?
Even though all I am to you is a deep secret.                   You say you are not inlove but you let me under your skin.

So I  still wander the hallways at night. 
Cause now, I’ve fallen in love with a magician.

True lies

Give me the time I desire

and I will serenade you with my song.
I will share with you the truth that will dissect your heart,
Like a double edged sword beheading an adulterous.

Oooh, be brave and be my Wallace
for we are just ordinary people.
Not that Legend had taled our story.
But your graffiti on the walls of my heart, has mistaken us for Bonnie and Clyde.

If I may choose to speak from my heart,
will you stay when you know you are safer by leaving?
Will you fight battles
you know you can’t win for my sake?
Will you wake up early every morning
to see if the night hasn’t robbed me of my life yet,
watching me as I sleep?

Of course you will, that’s what love is about, sacrifice…
What a pity! Me; however
with my love sweeter than golden honey and forever like the skies up above
I will not do the same for you.

But with an exception,
I will stand by you for your heart is pure.
We love each other but I am not inlove with you.


Waiting for your love 


So tell me my love ,is it so crazy
that I want you all to myself?
Is it really that bad to have our souls
merge into one.
Our little  hearts undeniably beating at the same time.
Of course I haven’t met you yet
But I feel your absence deeply.

I keep searching for pieces of you
hoping that just maybe,you’ll complete me.
That maybe you’ll come and feel this emptiness in me.
It is a cutting void.
These lonely days are awfully dreadful and painful.
So please, come to me now!

You can show yourself now.
For I am prepared to sacrifice my life for ours.
We were after all  made to love.
So whenever you wish to come to me,
I’ll let you lay down with me till the sun sets.
Till our story is written in the skies.
Till we love each other  to infinity.
  

For the mean time 

Aren’t we all equally beautiful 

The monsters and the halos
The queens and the peasants.
The dull  and the pleasant
Just bones and raceless souls
It is after all who we truly are.

And we all can feel it,
The time running out and
our ends far too near.

And this is not the time
To be pathetic and feel superior
because you are better than the next man.

Filthy rich or bloody poor
Reaper takes whats his.
And we will all be fed to maggots or
blown away by the wind.

So hey,why don’t you just love
for the mean time.
After all, we are all the same.

We all have the same fate anyway.

I still remain

​(To the Priest)

Edit

Where this message will find you
I do not know.
Like a bottled letter swayed by waves
in hope to find the sailor’s wife.

I’ve not been entirely truthful
Or I’ve simply become over reliant on secrets
in hope to find Eternity in a daffodil.
Sanity is after all overated.

Lately I’ve found myself unwilling to               indulge myself with human pleasures.
Drowned in some kind of unhealthy lethargy,
in sedentary at a far more insidious state .

I have left myself,
And I feel the absence keenly.
It is a cutting void.

But do not worry yourself
It is merely a gravitational pull of sadness.
I’ve found solitude and with it
A strange kind of peace.
I still remain.

So I sign off with love.
Yours,
A

  

Ruby,Arizona

Ruby in Arizona,

She was but a seemingly deserted city,
having trouble with herself.
A caged heart and a  broken smile.

Hurricane Dave saw it from a mile.
Such an attraction needed exploring,
One that needed reminding
of the pleasures of belonging to no one.

She had doves for eyes but no inhabitants.
Twin towers and huge mountains ,
She was a ghost town shaped like an hour glass.
Every part of her was carefully designed.

This city Ruby, surely had it all.
A thirst and hunger she could not control.
His sympathy transformed to desire
And her insecurities into curiosity.

All things being equal,
Hurricane Dave saw what he wished for
a pure city to be destroyed in every            beautiful possible way.

She opened her gates and let it in.
In and deep in the little city
Moist air  rose gradually.
Almost silent ,the city shook in excitement
glazed with terror and the hurricane got lost in the sensual haze.
Storm clouds spread all over the valley,
caressingly assaulting  every edge and every curve.

 It roamed and violated the little city.
Till the first few drops of rain fell
That’s when he knew he had done well.
He had resurrected the passion. 

Inside (tale)

image

It was a wonderful  time,
we did have it all.
We had to go somewhere we had never been before.
Once I let you in ,innocent became wild!
Human by day,beast at night.

It was man down,
From the moment I whispered in your ear.
I presented  myself and like a page I watched you turn.
I wanted to touch everything ,every part of you and
you wanted to pull me to the floor and make love.

Your hands were full,
Full and under my breast.
And I felt it,like your patient I growled in gratitude.
You refused to let fire  be the only thing that made us sweat.
You swore to quench your thirst with your tongue
And down,I went in to the water with you.

You’ll always be my hero,
my sheets bare witness to the night
my legs were as just useless
the night you begged me not to stop
but keep my head down and slightly above.
I still feel your kiss at night and my back against the wall.
The scars on your back,
too much pleasure I had to stop sucking your lips and biting mine.

You dark horse,
We shall meet again and make
beautiful art for the walls to bare witness.

(REPOST)
(you requested,I tried my best…i think lol…wrote outside my comfort zone)

In corde meo

Inside my head

image

His eyes narrowed

and I could feel his gaze

as if it was it’s own beast.

Up and down,

His green eyes on my flesh,

I most certainly felt his need to touch,

To feel,to have a lower pleasure

That could never be forgotten.

I started to sing the song

And he chose to play with my instruments.

His firm hands strumming each string.

Him caressing them like they were his only.

My instruments!

His body became in sync with the music

And I became the melody.

I finally felt him,felt his melody

and then I let him in,

Inside my head to hear my music.

Inside my mind to find the melody.